Shout Fire

There is a park opposite our flat that isn’t lit by any lights during the evening so naturally I avoid walking through it alone. But the other night me and Leo were walking to Sainsbury’s, probably to buy chocolate, and we walked through the park. Together. On the way back I remarked ‘Ya know what I would never walk through here if you weren’t with me; normally I would walk all the way round’. I think to many people reading this, that comment makes perfect sense.

It makes perfect sense that a young woman, or any woman/girl, should not walk alone through an unlit park. This is what is engrained into our upbringing.

Leaving my flat I do the classic check: phone, yup, keys, yup, face-mask, check, purse, got it, rape alarm, check.

If I am walking back from a night out, strolling back from the supermarket, exhaustedly poodling my way home after a late shift at work, I expect something to happen. In all of these situations I have been shouted and screamed at by men in cars, I have had men shout in my face, I have been heckled, groped, called vulgar names and for all this I consider myself lucky. I count my lucky stars that is has never been worse, that it has never morphed into a physical attack.

I. am. lucky.

Think about this world we are living in when a young woman feels lucky that she has only been screamed and shouted at, has only been groped, has only been catcalled. This is our reality. I am lucky because it has never gone further. I am lucky that I have only been verbally abused.

I. am. lucky.

Now when something happens I brush it off. It is just a part of being a woman. Being catcalled, shouted at, assaulted is something to be expected right? Right?! Well this appears to be the message. I for one am fed up of it. I am fed up of being shouted at, stared at, feeling unsafe when I am in a tube carriage with only men, fed up being treated as an object and internalising that feeling within myself.

But still. I am lucky.

RAINN, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Networks reported that 'perpetrators of sexual violence are less likely to go to jail or prison than other criminals.' A robbery is more likely to be convicted than sexual assault. 3/4 sexual assaults go unreported to the police and even when they do only 5 will result in conviction.

Think about that. Only 5.

Five convictions.

I don’t think words really cover how angry and upsetting that is. It makes me want to scream. It makes me want to cry, to hit something, to sob endlessly. Only 5.

In replacement of justice, of SAFETY, of reassurance, we are told to be careful, to be watchful, dress appropriately, don’t walk in the dark, don’t get too drunk, always carry your keys to use as a weapon, shout FIRE AND NOT HELP because shouting fire is more likely to get people to respond.

Shout fire. This is what we are told to do when the system, this pitiful democracy, fails us.

See here for statistics used in this post: [https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system]